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This is a real question: Why do a lot of men/boys hate (yes, hate) women that voice their criteria in choosing a partner? Even when the criteria is sane and responsible. Besides it being, sadly, an effective mating strategy, why does it exist?

Last Updated: 28.06.2025 14:03

This is a real question: Why do a lot of men/boys hate (yes, hate) women that voice their criteria in choosing a partner? Even when the criteria is sane and responsible. Besides it being, sadly, an effective mating strategy, why does it exist?

Especially when they feel that they have little to no control over what measure they are judged by.

Feeling powerless is closely related to feeling cheated, and it's an easy leap to blame not fate, but the person passing the judgement.

Women who tell men their criteria and reject them on the basis of them not meeting those criteria cause the men they reject this way to experience the feeling of being cheated, which they can easily blame the woman for.

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This is not to excuse such behavior, only to explain it.

It's a matter of projection.

So, a man being judged by how tall he is, how rich he is, how much hair he's got, etc. - it all just reminds them of how powerless they are in these matters.

How did you cope when someone you love, dealing with hyper-independence and trauma, felt they needed space to heal alone? Were you able to support them without overstepping, and did you eventually reconnect? How did that journey unfold?

People always resent being told they are not good enough.

Being cheated is one of the most visceral negative feelings humans can feel. It's infuriating and deeply humiliating.